Why I Was Fired and 7 Lessons You Can Learn

Admitting setbacks publicly isn’t easy, but recently, I experienced two significant career challenges: being let go from my role as a sporting director at a soccer club I helped build over a decade, and shortly thereafter, parting ways with my position as a university soccer head coach. Initially, these setbacks felt like failures, but with time, I’ve come to view them as necessary steps toward a more purposeful path. Sometimes, what seems like rejection is actually redirection.

These moments didn’t just prompt me to reflect on my leadership—they also illuminated how I was living. I had poured everything into work, leaving little room for the people and relationships that mattered most. I was burnt out, both at work and at home, and the consequences were inevitable. The real issue wasn’t about where I fell short, but rather where I needed to grow and why stepping away was the right move to reimagine my role in leadership and life.

Ascending Quickly Without a Safety Net

My career rose quickly. Moving into influential roles at a surprising pace left me little time to build a foundation of local mentorship or seek guidance from seasoned leaders. Climbing fast, it’s easy to think you’re invincible. But true leadership requires more than technical skill or a sharp soccer mind; it demands support, humility, and a willingness to learn from those who have navigated similar terrains before you.

Looking back, I realize I may have fallen into what many call the "Peter Principle": being promoted to roles where my skill set was no longer sufficient. I didn’t lack the abilities required to execute on the frontline, but rather the mindset to maintain continuous and consistent growth in a sustainable way. Benjamin Franklin once said, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure," and as our organization grew and program demands expanded, my lack of certain soft skills and leadership expertise became glaring gaps when I needed them most. Because I was so immersed in my work, I wasn’t showing up fully for my family either, leaving me isolated on both fronts.

Burning Bright, Burning Out

The fast pace of success can be exhilarating—but it’s unsustainable without balance. I poured everything into the day-to-day demands, often burning brightly in bursts of effort and leaving little energy for the long game. Consistency, as I’ve since learned, is far more powerful than intensity. Leadership isn’t about showing up occasionally with brilliance; it’s about showing up every day with purpose and resolve.

At the same time, my lack of balance was costing me at home. When you give all of yourself to work, there’s nothing left for the people you love. John Wooden once said, "It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen." Leadership is a marathon, not a sprint. Without pacing yourself and prioritizing the relationships that sustain you, burnout is inevitable, and you end up bringing less to the table when it matters most.

Getting Stuck in the Now

As my responsibilities grew, so did the demands on my time and energy. I became consumed by the day-to-day grind, managing the present instead of envisioning the future. Leadership isn’t just about maintaining high standards in the present; it’s also about building a vision for the future. Simon Sinek reminds us, "Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge." This care includes guiding not just the present team but also creating a pathway for what comes next.

In my case, I stopped innovating and creating. I became reactive instead of proactive. A caretaker of the status quo rather than an architect of progress. The result? I wasn’t offering the future-oriented leadership my roles required and I wasn’t fulfilling my obligation to lead my family either. I failed to present a compelling vision of the future where everything and everyone in our lives could not only co-exist but thrive.

Failing to Expand My Toolbox

As I advanced, I encountered a hard truth: what got me here wouldn’t get me there. I had honed my technical soccer knowledge and the general charisma needed to garner support, but neglected the broader skills necessary for high-level leadership. I failed to develop emotional intelligence, communication, and the ability to navigate complex networks of stakeholders.

Jim Loehr’s work emphasizes the importance of developing the whole person. Leadership isn’t just about expertise in your domain; it’s about becoming someone others want to follow. In neglecting this, I limited my effectiveness and ultimately my career trajectory. As Albert Einstein said, "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." Seek out workshops, books, or coaching that push you beyond your comfort zone and into new areas of competence. Leadership, especially in turbulent times, demands fresh approaches. Peter Drucker reminds us, "The greatest danger in times of turbulence is not the turbulence; it is to act with yesterday’s logic."

Lessons Learned

1. Seek Mentorship Early and Often: Find mentors who can guide you through the pitfalls of leadership. As Denzel Washington said, "Show me a successful individual and I’ll show you someone who had real positive influences in his or her life." Their wisdom can be a lifeline when challenges arise. Mentors provide perspective that helps you align daily actions with long-term aspirations, ensuring your growth remains intentional and purposeful.

2. Balance the Now with the Next: Leadership demands a dual focus: maintaining high standards in the present while building a vision for the future. Staying stuck in the day-to-day will only stall progress. As Jack Welch said, "A leader’s job is to look into the future and see the organization, not as it is, but as it can become." Reflect often on whether your current efforts align with the future you’re trying to create.

3. Invest in Your Growth Beyond the Technical: As you rise, the skills that matter most are often unrelated to your technical expertise. Communication, emotional intelligence, and adaptability are critical for leading large teams and broader networks. As Albert Einstein observed, "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." Seek out workshops, books, or coaching that push you beyond your comfort zone and into new areas of competence. Leadership, especially in turbulent times, demands fresh approaches. Peter Drucker reminds us, "The greatest danger in times of turbulence is not the turbulence; it is to act with yesterday’s logic."

4. Reframe Failure as Feedback: Failure, while uncomfortable, is one of the most powerful teachers. Carol Dweck’s concept of a growth mindset emphasizes viewing challenges and setbacks as opportunities to learn. Winston Churchill’s reminder that “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts” echoes this sentiment, encouraging us to see failure not as an endpoint but as part of the journey. Instead of fearing failure, lean into it as a chance to refine your approach and identify blind spots.

5. Find Your Center: Center can mean many things to different people. Centering myself means being where, with who, and doing what is needed to bring out the best version of me. Think about what moments, people, and places fill you up with energy? Which situations lead to the best decisions, and how did you make them?

6. Prioritize Consistency: Progress doesn’t come from sporadic bursts of effort; it comes from consistent, sustained action. Leadership is about showing up every day, not just when you feel inspired or energized. "The secret of your success is found in your daily routine," said John C. Maxwell.

7. Foster a Culture of Innovation: Leaders who stop creating risk stagnation. Encourage a mindset of curiosity and exploration within yourself and your team. Ask, “What’s next?” and challenge the status quo to ensure continuous improvement and relevance. As Steve Jobs famously stated, "Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower."

Moving Forward

Failure is only final if you fail to learn from it. Today, I lead differently. I’ve found balance, not just between work and home, but between ambition and sustainability. I’ve learned to prioritize growth, foster innovation, and show up consistently for the people who rely on me. The greatest reward? Knowing that I’m not just leading better, I’m living better.

My hope in sharing this story is that it inspires you to avoid the traps I fell into. Leadership isn’t easy, but it’s a journey worth undertaking, with the right tools, perspective, and people by your side.

Final Thought

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way” - John C. Maxwell. This resonates with the journey of showing up daily with purpose, pacing oneself to prevent burnout, and inspiring others by balancing consistency with vision. May we all strive to be leaders who illuminate the path forward while embodying the resilience and resolve that true leadership demands.