Begin 2025 by Doing It Wrong!

As we stride into 2025, a familiar pressure creeps into our lives, the need to start the year “right.” We aim to be perfect, set ambitious goals, and avoid any missteps. But what if the best way to start isn’t to start perfectly, but to start imperfectly? What if the first step is allowing ourselves to do it wrong?

Imagine turning on the tap in a newly built house. The water gushes out muddy at first, filled with remnants of the construction process. But with time, the flow clears, revealing fresh, clean water. The same is true of our efforts in life. When we try something new or embark on a journey of growth, the initial outcomes may be messy or flawed. This isn’t a sign of failure; it’s the natural process of clearing out the “mud” to find clarity and mastery.

Greg McKeown, author of Essentialism, talks about the power of knowing what not to do. He refers to the “damon” (as Socrates calls it) as a guiding voice that helps us identify paths to avoid. Similarly, the philosopher Nassim Taleb suggests that success in life is 90% about avoiding catastrophe. These perspectives remind us that progress often starts by eliminating what isn’t working rather than chasing perfection from the outset.

Start With What Not to Do

In teaching and coaching, I’ve found value in asking, “What would doing this wrong look like?” This flips the script. Instead of chasing an ideal, we analyze mistakes to better understand the task. For example, when coaching soccer players, I sometimes demonstrate a technique poorly—showing exaggerated missteps—and then guide them toward its opposite. This method not only removes the fear of failure but also deepens understanding by contrasting right and wrong.

The same principle applies to broader life challenges. Consider the question: How do you make a happy person miserable? The answer might be easier than making a miserable person happy. You’d isolate them, overburden them, or criticize them relentlessly. By avoiding these pitfalls, we create space for happiness to thrive.

Redefining Failure 

Perfectionism often stems from the fear of failure, but what if failure isn’t the end? What if it’s the beginning? Every “wrong” step teaches us something valuable. Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Each misstep brings us closer to what works best, building a foundation for eventual success.

Failure also helps us redefine our targets. Think of a missile. It doesn’t strike the target by aiming directly and unwaveringly; it continuously adjusts, recognizing where it isn’t headed and recalibrating. In the same way, when we acknowledge what isn’t working in our lives, we steer ourselves closer to what does.

The Process Over Perfection 

Life isn’t about achieving a perfect state; it’s about engaging with the process. When we release ourselves from the grip of perfectionism, we embrace growth. Instead of fearing missteps, we accept them as necessary waypoints on our journey. Here’s how to make “doing it wrong” a powerful strategy:

1. Identify the Non-Target: Reflect on what isn’t serving you. What habits, thoughts, or practices lead you away from your goals?

2. Experiment Freely: Approach new challenges with a willingness to stumble. Treat each misstep as a lesson, not a failure.

3. Adjust Continuously: Like the missile, let your mistakes inform your recalibration. Progress isn’t linear; it’s iterative.

4. Celebrate the Process: Acknowledge the courage it takes to begin and the growth that comes from imperfection.

Moving Forward 

As 2025 unfolds, remember that the clearest waters follow the muddy beginnings. Embrace the process of doing it wrong as a vital step in doing it right. Perfection doesn’t exist, but the journey does. Each day, focus on taking one step forward, no matter how small, and use missteps as guideposts for refinement.

Here’s an actionable exercise to kickstart your journey:

1. Write It Down: Take 5 minutes to jot down one fear or hesitation you have about starting something new. What’s the “muddy water” you’re afraid of?

2. Flip the Perspective: Imagine doing it wrong on purpose. What might that look like? Use this to explore ways to begin without pressure.

3. Track Progress: Commit to one small action each day, no matter how imperfect, and celebrate each effort as part of the process.

So, let’s toast to imperfection. To muddy taps and the lessons of what not to do. And to the messy, glorious process of learning and growing, one “wrong” step at a time.

Today’s “Thoughts on Thursday” was inspired by a short but insightful interview with actor Willem Dafoe - Abandon Perfection, Try to Fail (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dSRzxg7p1E).